Karma
by Kitsuneko
Summary: What if someone could travel through time and space? What if they found themselves on a different world, but...changed? How are you supposed to live one life when memories of another keep haunting you? A oneshot.


Disclaimer: The Dragonriders of Pern belongs to Anne McCaffery, I make no claim to own it. This is a work of fanfiction which I make absolutely no money from. Though the world is borrowed, the plot and characters are all mine.

(A/N: A response of sorts to my Writing Challenge of re-writing some common cliches on the DRoP forum: Where a person from Earth ends up on Pern. The becomes-a-dragon part isn't exactly _common_, but hey, I've seen it done before.)

* * *

Devin Nathaniel Kay. A successful entrepreneur and first-rate businessman. Age: 38. Residence: New York City. Married, one son. A perfectly typical guy, most people would say, set to have the world handed to him on a platter.

He doesn't know how much his life is going to change.

He wakes up early each morning, gets ready and sets his things in order just in time to kiss his wife goodbye and take his son to school. "Dad, don't forget, you're taking me to the soccer game tonight, right?"

"Sure, Cam," he replies absent-mindedly as thirteen-year-old Cameron climbs out of the car. He gives a final wave to the boy as he drives off in his new car and goes to work.

Things come up and get in the way like they do everyday, and it's past eight o'clock before he gets home. He has to put up with his wife's pointed glares and his son's disappointed look, but hey, it's worth it, because he's giving them a better life than he ever had. They're lucky, aren't they?

He lies awake that night and wonders.

The next day is a lot the same. He's just going out for lunch when he gets a call on his cell phone from his wife. He scowls as he answers, watching the light turn green. "Look, I'm sorry about yesterday. I told you, I lost track of time."

"You lose track of time _every day_."

There are no cars now, so he goes ahead and steps across the street. He's got another line of traffic to go through getting where he's trying to go. "I'll do better next time."

"...There's not going to be a next time, Devin."

He scowls again. Light's still red, time to go. "What are you talking about?"

"I want a divorce."

"What?" He steps out onto the street, too preoccupied to notice that the light's already changed. "Tell me you're-" So he doesn't see the jeep coming, and the driver can't stop in time. The cell phone clatters to the ground.

"Devin? Devin!"

All he registers is sharp, blinding pain. It overcomes all his senses and he can't make sense of the voices around him.

"Shattered arm...snapped rib pierced his lung...I don't think he's going to make it..."

He just wants to rest...God, why won't the pain stop? Everything is cold and dark and the pain is further away, distant, and he drifts off gratefully...

Regwel didn't know whether to be excited or scared out of his mind. This was the first time he'd ever attended a Hatching, and he was filled with anticipation. With a surreptitious glance around, he was reassured to see that a lot of his fellow candidates were looking as nervous as he was. The dragons' humming seemed to be louder than ever, and he felt his stomach turn. And then, suddenly, it all stopped.

The first eggs hatched, spilling squalling dragonets onto the sands. Regwel's hands were starting to shake, and he crossed his arms over his chest. There was a blue, was it looking his way? No, it was heading for another boy. How about one of those greens? Was that a bronze in the back?

He wasn't sure what to do, but the other boys were pushing around him and surging towards the dragonets hopefully, so he did the same and stumbled towards the closest dragon, a large green. It hissed at him and bared some very sharp teeth before being calmed down by a girl, and Regwel was startled enough that he stepped backward, tripped over his slightly overlong candidate's robe, and toppled to the sand, landing on his back beside another cracking egg.

Staring with wide eyes, he could hardly believe what was happening now. The egg broke, and he felt a vast and formless _something _brush against his mind.

He doesn't know where he is, and everything seems jumbled in his mind. Where is this place? How did he get here? What's he supposed to do now? He keeps getting flashes of images, or sounds, or knowledge, or _something, _and he knows there's more out there he either doesn't know about yet or doesn't remember. An eternity seems to pass, but he's not sure what to do. Finally, he reacts on instinct, and moves. The darkness around him seems to crack a little. He does it some more. The world falls apart around him, but there's another one outside it, incredibly bigger. He blinks, sits still a few moments to get used to it. A huge space, yet it seems absolutely crowded with people. Everything around him seems brown or grey or white. Is this where he is supposed to be? No, he is supposed to be...somewhere else. Isn't he?

He becomes aware of two overpowering needs he knows he has to take care of if he's going to live. His stomach rumbles. Food is one. The other is...he shudders. He's incomplete, like there's a big chunk of him, just...missing. How does he get it back?

Only now does he become aware of the people around him. He stands up on unsteady legs; it takes him a few seconds to gain his bearings, but he steps over a sprawled form at his feet and tries to push through the crowd of boys. He's hungry, and he smells food that way.

No wait, there's something else he needs to take care of first, isn't there? But why are all these children getting in his way? He bares his teeth at them, but all the same, his instincts are telling him the opposite, to run up to one of them and let them comfort him. Why is he so confused?

He backs away, keeping a cautious distance from the nearest humans. He notices the other boy again, the one who fell on the ground in front of his egg. He's still there, but looking at him with wide, bewildered eyes. With a sense of amusement, he bends over to sniff at this new boy and get a better look at him.

He doesn't know exactly what he does, only that it's triggered by instinct and that it is distressing and confusing and unbelievably _right_. Suddenly, it's almost like he can see himself through the boy's eyes: a tall, gangly, mottled brown dragon hatchling, swaying unsteadily on its feet. And he knows so much more. The boy's name is Regwel; this is the first time he's attended a dragon Hatching, since he was only Searched a month ago. His family died when he was young; he was brought up by foster parents, but he's always felt completely _alone_ when he thought about it...

And he realizes something that is at once wonderful and terribly frightening: though he hasn't known this boy for five minutes, he is absolutely certain that he will never love anyone more, as sure as he knows that this boy Regwel loves him absolutely, and that either of them would give their life to prevent harm from coming to the other.

Regwel smiles, grins wildly, laughs, and an accompanying thrumming sound comes from his own throat. "What's his name, R'gwel?" someone asks.

Of course he knows what his own name is. It's-there's a slight feeling of wrongness, of something he's forgotten-it's Devonth. Of course. The pause of uncertainty is almost too short to be sensed. But what else would it be?

It was coming to the point where R'gwel could no longer deny that there was something wrong with Devonth. Much as he loyally tried to convince himself that his dragon was perfect, it was becoming increasingly obvious that Devonth was different from the other dragons. There were times that he showed surprising insight into events for a dragon, times when he remembered bits of information that R'gwel couldn't even recite-and then there were other times when he got confused or distant, or he remembered too _much_; things he couldn't or shouldn't know, things that didn't even make sense.

Physically, though, he seemed like any other growing dragon, sleeping and eating most of the day until he gradually grew out of it and became more alert. He seemed to be healthy to everyone else.

R'gwel went to see the dragonhealer, though he wasn't sure how to voice his concerns.

"He seems to be in perfect health physically," the dragonhealer said skeptically. "Does he get headaches or dizziness, or anything like that?"

R'gwel shook his head. "No, he just...He just acts odd," he said helplessly.

"He just acts odd," the healer repeated. "Can you be a _little_ more specific?"

"He gets confused, sometimes," R'gwel said, his face beginning to turn red, and he added, "More than most weyrling dragons. But at other times he seems...more intelligent, I guess. Dragons are supposed to have bad memories, but Devonth can remind me of answers to the instructor's questions that I can't even remember."

The dragonhealer smiled in amusement. "Don't tell your Weyrlingmaster that. Anyway," he continued, "I wouldn't worry about it. Dragons aren't all alike, anymore than humans. Some are a little smarter, or more friendly, or more serious than others. Your dragon just has a better memory than most, that's all."

Even so, R'gwel frowned. "All right...I guess. Thank you."

The dragonhealer nodded. "I'm still here, if anything really seems to be wrong with him."

R'gwel nodded a goodbye and made his way back to their private weyr-having been moved out of the communal weyrling barracks the week before. The brown dragon was alert and waiting for him. Devonth raised his head when he sensed R'gwel entering. _Where did you go? Are you done now?_

"Oh, it was nothing, Devonth. It's taken care of," he said, brushing it off with a wave of his hand.

The brown dragon's eyes whirled lazily with blue and green as he spoke to his rider. _Well, it's good you came back, because it's time to leave now._

R'gwel blinked. "What?"

_Weyrling classes, _Devonth explained patiently, _We start practicing for the flight _between_ today._

R'gwel, berating himself for not remembering that, nodded to his dragon. "Right. Let's go then, the Weyrlingmaster will take it out of our hides if we're late for this one."

R'gwel's concern for his dragon's health was soon supplanted by the prospect of _between_, coming closer every day they trained. Though the Weyrlingmaster had taken great care to work with them all on the necessary visualizations, R'gwel had heard of the relatively high rate of failure among weyrlings their first time _betweening_, and he was far from the only one who had.

"Concentrate and remember everything you've learned from the previous weeks, and there's no reason any of you should fail to come back," the Weyrlingmaster said, before he mounted his own scarred, blue dragon. "Fly over to the other side of the Weyr and then _between_ back here. I'll be over there watching you while you do so, and leave one of my assistants over here to do the same."

The weyrlings all mounted their dragons, glancing at each other warily to see who'd be the first to go. R'gwel, sitting on Devonth's broad shoulders, took a breath. _Are you ready for this, Devonth?_

The dragon rumbled. _Better to get it over with so we can stop being scared._

R'gwel stifled a laugh and stroked the brown neck in front of him. _Have I told you what an incredibly smart dragon you are?_

_Not today, _Devonth answered smugly.

Several dragons had already made the trip now, and S'ton, a rider beside them, and his green dragon Tamenoth took off to try it. R'gwel could see them on the far heights, a tiny shape beside the slightly bigger outline of the Weyrlingmaster's dragon, and he could clearly see them when they disappeared from view.

One second, two, and R'gwel could hear his heart beating in his chest, again and again and again, but they didn't appear. He felt his heart sink then, as the dragons all as one let out a loud, long keen of sorrow.

Except for Devonth. The dragon stood with head bowed respectfully, and though R'gwel could tell that he was as sad and as shaken as everyone else, he could also sense that Devonth's mind was distracted. Even his rider could not uncover what had upset him so much. _Devonth?_

_...They died._

R'gwel sighed. _Yes, Devonth. They're gone._

_Forever?_

R'gwel blinked at his dragon's cryptic words, but he was distracted by one of the other weyrlings. The boy coughed pointedly and looked around at the weyrlings. "What happened to S'ton and Tamenoth was awful, but someone's still got to go. Who's next?" As much as they hated to admit it, he did have a point.

Devonth moved forward and spread his wings, and R'gwel clutched at his neck, taken by surprise. _We'll go,_ he stated.

Taking a deep breath, R'gwel asked, _Are you sure about this, Devonth?_

_Yes. If not now, we may never get the courage._

_Alright._ R'gwel felt sick to his stomach, but Devonth winged his way over to where the Weyrlingmaster waited.

He looked at them with concern. "You ready for this?"

R'gwel's face was white, but he nodded and called up the image of the place they had just come from and fixed it firmly in his mind. He gave the signal to Devonth, and he leapt into the air. A pause, and then they were hanging in a black void, utterly cold and utterly alone. One, two, three, R'gwel counted, fighting a rising panic when nothing seemed to be happening, but then just as suddenly, they were back, hovering in the air over the relieved faces of their fellow weyrlings.

_I guess that wasn't too bad, _R'gwel admitted as Devonth landed.

_That...place. _Between, Devonth said suddenly, _Is that what being dead is like?_

_I...don't know, Devonth, _R'gwel replied, unnerved by his dragon's questions. It wasn't something he wanted to think about. _I'm just glad it's over with._

_It's strange, _Devonth mused as the class ended and a funeral was prepared for those who had not come back.

_What? _R'gwel asked wearily.

_It felt almost...familiar._

The confusion doesn't disappear as time goes on; in fact, it steadily becomes stronger and more common. He has a vague sense that something is wrong, that things around him are out of place, but he doesn't know how they are supposed to go, so he can't fix it. He starts to feel less like himself and more like he's being torn apart and pulled towards two different places at once. R'gwel would like to help, tries his hardest, but he doesn't know what's wrong either, and he is becoming seriously concerned for Devonth.

"It's not like anything I've dealt with before. He seems healthy, but...maybe there's something wrong with his brain. Whatever it is, I don't think it's anything we can fix. You'll just have to hope he gets better."

The voice is soft and sympathetic, and he looks up. For a moment he's confused; who is this man before him, what does he want? What's he doing in their weyr! Oh, but it's the dragonhealer, of course. He's seen him dozens of times as he grew up, why would he not recognize the man now? He gets frustrated and growls. Why can't he seem to remember anything? R'gwel says it's normal for a dragon to forget things, but it's not, Devonth knows he shouldn't be like this. What is it he's forgotten?

"Devonth?" R'gwel's voice comes softly, hesitantly. He is looking up at Devonth with worried eyes. The dragonhealer had taken a step back when he had voiced his confusion.

Devonth blinks, looks around, and lowers his head to let R'gwel stroke his forehead. _I'm sorry, _he says, and he knows R'gwel can sense his pain and confusion and fear. R'gwel doesn't say anything, but there is an identical look of fear in his eyes.

Graduation day has come at last. They have been chosen for their wing and they have finished all their lessons; now they are considered adults, true dragonriders. Devonth feels the giddy excitement from R'gwel and allows it to color his own feelings. It's almost like being drunk.

He's never been drunk, of course, but he suspects this is what it would feel like.

He is lounging outside with his siblings, but he can still sense what's going on inside the Great Hall through R'gwel. The celebratory feast is well underway and everyone is congratulating the former weyrlings. R'gwel sees that most of the weyrlings are surrounded by friends and family, proud to see what they've become. R'gwel has talked to several friends tonight, but he is still conspicuously alone. Devonth becomes concerned as a desperate wave of loneliness hits him from his bond.

_R'gwel? You're sad, Mine._

_It's nothing, Devonth._

The dragon snorts. _It's _not _nothing. Is it because you don't have a family here tonight?_

He can tell by R'gwel's sudden vehemence that he is correct. _I said I'm fine, Devonth. Can't you leave it alone?_

Devonth is stubborn, though. _You have friends, R'gwel, and you'll make more as you get older. And you have me. Do you need a family?_

R'gwel doesn't want to talk to him, and he starts to block Devonth from his feelings. Devonth hisses. _We're dragon and rider, R'gwel! There's not _supposed _to be any secrets between us!_

_Why are you obsessed with my family? You act like a giant, overprotective parent. _R'gwel snapped back.

_I don't know! Because I failed at it the first time! I tried my best-_Another flash of sudden dizziness, the certainty of an unknown memory just beyond his reach, something that will give _sense _to his rantings. But he misses it again, and it disappears to leave him frustrated and confused. _I don't know why I do what I do! I can't even tell what's real and what's not!_

_Devonth...Stop it..._

_I try my best, but it's just never enough-_The constant feeling of R'gwel hovering at the back of his mind disappears suddenly as R'gwel falls unconscious. He cries out, a deep roar, in fear. What has he done now?

_R'gwel? What's happened, Mine?_

After R'gwel's fainting spell, when Devonth's own agitation and fear and emotions simply overwhelmed him, Devonth started to hover around him constantly, like a giant repentant puppy. _I'm sorry! _Devonth said for what seemed like the millionth time.

R'gwel gave a rueful smile and stroked the dragon's face reassuringly. "It's all right, Devonth, really." Devonth was no less contrite.

Fortunately they were soon pronounced fit for duty again and continued drilling with the rest of their wing with few problems. Fortunately, they were no longer afraid of _between_ either.

_Alright, Devonth, let's go back to the Weyr, _R'gwel said after sweepriding, and he fixed the picture firmly in his mind as Devonth did the same. Devonth blinked between and R'gwel shuddered with the cold. Then something went wrong. R'gwel could tell something was wrong with Devonth, another one of his confusion spells. This time R'gwel felt it as strongly as Devonth. The overpowering, sickly feeling that everything was _not right_, forgetting who and where he was, while other memories crowded in, trying to replace them. It was almost more than he could handle. Worse, he felt Devonth's distraction and panic as they continued to flounder in _between._

_Devonth, concentrate! Concentrate on the Weyr! _R'gwel shouted, pulling himself together and desperately trying to fight back his own fear and panic as well as Devonth's bleeding over to him, and stubbornly hanging onto his image of the Weyr.

The freezing numbess of _between_ disappeared, replaced by the merciful sight of their home, and R'gwel breathed a sigh of relief. Premature, as it turned out, for Devonth gave a frightened bugle as he tumbled from the sky as if he'd suddenly forgotten how to use his wings. _Devonth!_

The dragon righted himself and slowed their descent, but it didn't entirely help, for he still slammed into the ground with one wing crumpled underneath him. There was an audible crack as the delicate wingbones snapped, and Devonth creeled in pain. _My arm! My ribs!_

_Hush, Devonth, it's okay. It's going to be alright. _R'gwel tried to comfort and calm down his dragon.

_My arm! My ribs! _Devonth cried again. _It hurts!_

R'gwel's brow furrowed in confusion. _Your front legs and body are fine, Devonth. It's just your wing that's broken. The dragonhealer is going to be here any minute, and he'll make it better. The pain will stop._

One great yellow eye fixed on him plaintively. _Are you sure?_

_Yes, Devonth. _There were tears brimming in R'gwel's eyes as he threw his arms around Devonth's neck.

The dragonhealer did come, and Devonth was moved inside a weyr where he could heal in peace, and then R'gwel was inspected for injuries himself. "You're both very lucky," the healer told him once they were both taken care of. "You came away with nothing but scratches, and Devonth's bones broke cleanly. They should heal up fine; he'll still be able to fly."

R'gwel sighed. "Thank you."

The healer nodded and placed a hand on the young rider's shoulder. "You should get some sleep. You can stay in here with Devonth." R'gwel thought that sounded like a very good idea.

He was already drifting off to sleep, but worry about Devonth still distracted his mind. He must have fallen asleep and dreamed, because a picture unlike anything he'd ever seen before appeared in his mind.

Everything was grey everywhere he looked. The ground was smooth but looked made of stone, and there were towering building everywhere made of some type of rock or strange metal. They stretched straight up in the open air, towards a brilliantly blue sky. And the people! They were everywhere, clogging the streets and entering and exiting the buildings, people of different colors and sizes and clothes, more variety than he had ever seen before, despite his years in the relatively large Weyr. And there were strange machines, too, huge wheeled contraptions almost as common as the people. None of it made any sense to R'gwel.

"Hey, kid." He turned around; a man was standing just behind him where no one had been there before.

"Wha...Who are you?" R'gwel asked.

The man just narrowed his eyes a bit. "You're not supposed to be here. This isn't your world."

"What are you talking about? Where is this?"

The strange man just shook his head, then he smiled. "Just wake up, R'gwel."

And everything went black. He couldn't say he wasn't glad.

He wakes from dreaming again, and he realizes this isn't the first time it has happened to him. But instead of bewildering him more, making him confused, afraid, frustrated, this time things seem to be a bit clearer. Things are starting to make sense. He's starting to remember.

Devonth thinks he's starting to understand what has happened to him.

R'gwel woke to find himself back in the familiar weyr. He reached for Devonth in the dark, and the dragon responded with a deep rumble and a gentle nudge. _Do you know what I was dreaming about, Devonth?_

A long pause. _...Yes._

R'gwel nodded. _It was...strange. I don't suppose you'd know anything more about it than me._

_Go back to sleep, R'gwel. You need to rest-we both need to rest._

R'gwel scowled. _If I can. I'm getting tired of these dreams of yours, Devonth._

_No, but I've decided-I don't think they're going to be a problem anymore, _Devonth said simply.

R'gwel was already falling asleep again, and he curled up, lying against the dragon's chest.

_And...I'm here, R'gwel. I'll always be here for you._

R'gwel smiled. "I know that, Devonth. I've always known it." Nothing needed to be said, but then, R'gwel was already asleep.


End file.
